Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
