is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
