I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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