Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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