We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Randomize
