when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
