She is in my trunk
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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