omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
