did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
