Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
