My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
