he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
