found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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