just tell him i said nine months
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
