sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
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