I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
PANTIES FOUND
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
