I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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