i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
