new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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