if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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