so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
