I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
how drunk are you?
Several
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
