worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i barfeds in our rink
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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