Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Buhtt sex?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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