i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
