been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
