So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
