babies were throwing up all over the place
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
