It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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