can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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