Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
