Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Randomize
