Heybabeimwearingurpanties
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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