He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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