What did we do last night that was yellow?
I look better un-naked...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
