Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
