Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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