Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
