I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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