Jerry, you need to find god
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Floor bacon is actually really good
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
