nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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