Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
