Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
