Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Did I show you my penis last night?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
