Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize