On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
