Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
