Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
