so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
