I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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