How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
