Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
