Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
