His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
