Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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