the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
