My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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