the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
