after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
