dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
