This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
It was like getting head from an anaconda
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
