Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
