She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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