I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
