4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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