brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
