I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
