i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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