scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
