the new term for farting is butt boxing.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
