My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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