Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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