i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
